My Bloody Valentine

Out Now On-Demand

Tom Hanninger returns to his hometown on Valentine's Day, ten years after accidentally causing an accident that killed five of his friends and left only one survivor. His attempts to make amends for his past are complicated by the fact his best friend and ex are now married, whilst the sole survivor may also be the local responsible for a spate of murders-by-pick-axe in the ironically dubbed small town of Harmony.

Also playing in 3D at select theatres.

Trailers

Directed by

Written by

Horror

101mins

USA

Official Site

[Ed's note: our reviewer saw the 3-D version of the film].

Slasher films are always voyeuristic but My Bloody Valentine 3-D takes things a step further by placing the audience into a three dimensional environment, allowing us to peer into gaping head wounds or wince as the point of a pick-axe nearly pokes us in the eye. The dialogue is appalling, the characterisation is clumsy, and the storyline is formulaic. But it’s still a lot of fun to experience a killing spree first hand.

The classic Freudian mix of sex and murder serves as the basis for the film’s highlight - a 10-minute scene in which the killer chases a screaming naked woman around a motel. She’s just been filming a sex tape, and, as slasher-lore will have it, she gets what’s coming to her. No moment from this point onwards matches the sheer audacity of three-dimensional boob jiggling.

The potential for more great humour of this type is unfortunately weakened a bit by the terribly boring cast, who might give you the impression that the killer has already scraped their brains out of their skulls and replaced them with the processing power of an early-model Casio calculator. But if you’re into guilty-pleasure flicks with midget motel managers, excessive old-school gore, naked chicks, or old codgers in bars who yell: “You motherf***ing c***sucker!” then I’ll wager that My Bloody Valentine 3-D is your bloody film.

Empire [UK]

press

A shameless but effective slasher remake.

FilmThreat.com [USA]

press

If a movie like My Bloody Valentine plays like a dime-store slasher picture, then adding 3D to the proceedings will only make it look like a 3D dime-store slasher picture.

Hollywood Reporter

press

The 3-D effects come fast and furious, rendered with a technical skill and humor that gives this otherwise strictly formulaic slasher picture whatever entertainment value it possesses.

Los Angeles Times

press

Wooden performances by forgettable, generic actors -- again, just like in the original -- don't aid in making things any less leaden. Perhaps this is the best one can hope for from something like My Bloody Valentine 3-D, that it be just good enough to not be annoying. Or in this specific case, physically painful.

New York Times

press

A strange synergy of old and new, My Bloody Valentine 3D blends cutting-edge technology and old-school prosthetics to produce something both familiar and alien: gore you can believe in.

Premiere [USA]

press

This is a fun midnight movie. Horror fans, get your friends together and go see some gore and some naked chicks in three dimensions.

Variety [USA]

press

At heart an unabashedly retro work, reveling in the cliches and conventions of the slasher horror pics that proliferated in the early 1980s.

grate movie

user


grate movie

it scard me out of my seat

my bloody valentine

user


my bloody valentine

all i see there no action in it

Looks immense

user


Looks immense

This film looks really awesome, Plus Jensen Ackles is hot and an amazing actor. Can't wait to see this, c'mon the 19th!!